Time. Time is a fleeting thing. A thing that I find to fleet beneath my feet. I keep thinking that I will make the time to care for myself later on today, first thing tomorrow, or tomorrow night before bed. It does not matter what it is I am thinking of (reading, writing, exercising, meditating) it will not get done due to my profound super power ability to put off that which I desperately need.
Why? Why don't I choose to care for myself? Why do I instead use my energy to waste time in other ways instead of invest it where I need it most?
I have no answers other than to ask a question. What am I afraid of? What IF I take the next 10 minutes and allow myself to read a bit of the book I am currently craving? Will the world end? Will dinner be a little late? Will I get so involved in the book that it will feel like I am ripping out my heart by shutting the cover? What IF I offered myself the space to do one thing that I love for 10 minutes? What would happen to me? Would I be a little happier and a little more at peace? Yes, and this is nothing to fear. Instead, finding the little joy amongst the work, toil, and to do list might just be what I need out of this day...
I am worth more than my extensive to do list. Afterall, I am the inventor of my to do list. I am the all powerful to do list creator and with this comes great responsibility. Will I take joy in crossing off a completed item before moving on to the next thing requiring attention? I am going to try after I check off one more item...
Today, I will choose joy. Today I will choose to celebrate those items that I have completed without fretting about the rest of the list and all it entails. At the end of this day I want to look back and see how I cared for myself. I want to find one nugget where I can point and say, "See? I did that for me. And it felt good because I am worth every second of those 10 minutes. I am worth more than a list of to dos."
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